Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Get your tissue

And then read this Letter to my Daughter.
Disclaimer: It's a mommy's letter to her baby that she lost just after birth (she knew baby had fatal problems). It'a beautiful letter and picture of what God taught her through her experience.

Seriously, get a hankie. Isn't it interesting the vulnerable things we will put on our blog? It's such an outlet, for me, too. We can broadcast our most embarrassing, our most spiritual, our most significant moments that would not be able to express sometimes in a face to face conversation.

For, my kids dumped out the humidifier in thier room (water everywhere). Then they filled it up in the bathroom and Hayden dumped it on Jack's head.

Then, later today, Hayden snuck an half a loaf of bread into thier room, where they shredded it and happily spread the crumbs around the room. Then went back to the bathroom and pumped my delicious B & B foamy handsoap all over the counter with water. Then he pooped on the little potty seat and smeared junk all over it. I was so mad, all I could do was put him to bed (it was 7). I knew if I spanked him, it would be too hard because i was so ticked. It's amazing the damage that can be done in 5 minutes, of what I thought, was finally a moment of peace and quiet! I should know better.

Several times in the past 2 days, I've just been praying, Lord, help me to show them grace when they dont' deserve it. Help me not to completely loose it. Thankfully, I've got my moment of peace and quiet now, and the dudes are ASLEEP. Tomorrow, is a fresh start. Thank goodness for the Grace the Lord extends to me, that he has not abandoned me, but walks with me as I figure this mommy thing out.

My fave verse of the day, "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins are like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Praise God for that! Please sweep my junk away like a cloud! Not only does he do that, but He invites me to come back to him and refuel. He embraces me and reminds me that He's already taken care of my garbage. I get to reconnect, know that I'm loved, and that He's redeemed me! And, the truth is, He's redeemed my little monsters, too. I pray that someday, they'll get that because of the kind of mommy I am to them. Lord, help me be a good picture of you to my babies!


the kicker is... said...

wow, wow, wow. I didn't even get to the link requiring a hanky, and already I'm thankful for this post. totally different circumstances, but I'm in a very similar space that you talk about her, friend. I've been doing a Beth Moore study on my own (Psalms of Ascent) and today's lesson was very near to what you're talking about here.
I love it when He shows us He's totally IN us by showing up in similar ways in multiple places.
Hunh. Makes me think of that book "He's Not That Into You" - but in the opposite direction - God is totally into us, and proves it by showing up all over the place. Even in blogville ;)

The Pace Posse said...

Wow, Eryn!
Thank you for sharing that. It was an absolutely beautiful tribute that mom wrote.
Really puts it all in perspective....

Julie said...

i read her letter and i read the rest of her blog. amazing woman. amazing family. To see they just lost another baby in their family now too. I can almost feel the pain on my skin...if that makes any sense. Thanks for sharing. Its been hard...i have found so many beautifully, amazing, heart wrenching stories on blogland and each one amazingly has an incredible testimony for our Lord. The Lord is using these blogs to reach so many. I've learned a lot from reading these women's stories. Their candidness, their honesty, vulnerability, raw emotion. Life is so precious. There is no doubt of God's presence in our lives when you read these stories. Okay, enough of my blab. Thanks, Eryn for your own testimony.

vikki said...

thanks for the post eryn! wow! one of the things i loved about her story is the peace that God gives in the midst of our pain. it was such a beautiful picture of Gods love and strength He gives us so that we may endure whatever circumstances that we may face. God is faithful. life is precious, it is a gift. but i am so thankful that this life is not all there is... there is so much more ahead of us! thank God!

Mara said...

I just read this post for the first time and I had one of those moments today...I know my kids are overtired (esp Megan) but today she told me she wanted to go live with her friend down the street...I can only imagine what lies ahead for me when the teen years hit!